What Else Is On My Mindgrapes #20
One Of My Sabbatical Thoughts
I’m back at my full time vacation as Teaching Pastor at Ecclesia Houston. I’m glad to be back at work, and thankful that my community allows such time for its pastors and staff. People ask, “What did you learn or discover?” And I’m not entirely sure, yet. My sabbatical was not like I would have liked to design it.
As Teaching Pastor, it made most sense for me to be away over the summer, when many families are traveling anyway. I hate summer weather in Houston. So, does everyone else, too. Plus, my girls were away working at camps or going to camps a good bit of the summer, so I did not have a ton of time with them. At the same time, my wife, Rochelle changed teaching jobs, meaning her school year began earlier with new teacher training days. We had eight days together this summer. As, you know, while on vacation with my family, during those eight days, my older brother, Richard died suddenly.
When folks ask about Richard’s untimely death, they ask, “Was it helpful that he died when you were already away?”1 The answer is “yes” and “no.”
Ecclesia offers generous time off for bereavement, a time that was even offered to me as an extension of my sabbatical. I opted not to take it because moving around our preaching calendar has a cascading effect on many other people. I try not to make my problems other people’s problems.
Those in the Enneagram world will understand when I say I’m a self-preserving Type 3w4. When it comes to events like sabbatical and grief, I won’t be able to process either for some time. And it will come when I least expect it. Some have asked if I am avoiding grief. I don’t think I am. I am simply waiting for it.
So, what has been on my mindgrapes? The reality that life never stops. There’s is no hiatus or off-season for living.
Even on sabbatical, the lives of those we love keep moving forward. So, what I’ve discovered is the weekly rhythm of sabbath is more important than the occasional sabbatical. This is the one thing I know. I am worker. I love hacking away on the work God has called me into, but this summer I did come to learn the slowness and lack of urgency sabbatical gave me. I learned that I’ve learned to always be in a hurry, even when I don’t need to be. I pack my days with to-do list and tasks, even my enjoyments become tasks (yes, “Watch a movie” makes it onto my daily lists). That doesn’t have to be the case. There’s space to slow pace.
Weekly sabbath is supposed to be a glimpse of heaven, a foretaste of what God has in store, when all that can be cared for has been cared for and there is peace.
The best moment of my sabbatical came while sitting at a resort in San Diego. Rochelle and our girls hadn’t yet arrived, and I had just finished 2 days of brainstorming about preaching with friends. As a drank a Negroni and read a book overlooking a pool filled with children at play on a 75-degree, perfect day, I took a deep breath.
This is what it is, I thought. This is sabbath.
They mean, “If it were going to happen anyway,” not that Richard’s death was helpful in any way.