In the 37 years since I became a parent, there are many things I wish we had done differently, especially things I wish we had been more intentional about, or even known to be intentional about. But one thing I will never regret is making a decision to be intentional about, as you say, “arranging our lives” around the important job of being parents. That did not mean having every waking hour be centered around our children. It meant evaluating our strengths and weaknesses as individuals and as a couple and determining what our life needed to look like for the flourishing of our kids, our family and for my husband and I as individuals. I knew before I was even married that I was not wired to have a full-time job and be a mother at the same time. I knew I would do neither job well or even moderately well. I just can’t keep all those balls in the air and remain sane. Neither one of thrive in a fast-paced life. In addition, neither one of us wanted other people raising our kids during the week so we knew I was going to not have a paying job for the foreseeable future, and we would reevaluate things as we went. My husband was in a management role for a large Christian nonprofit for the first three years of our first daughter’s life, which afforded us the financial option of me not having to work to pay the bills. Money was tight but we were ok. The job was close to home but became more and more stressful as he took on more responsibility. With only a two week vacation and long hours, he had little time at home. So when he was abruptly and unjustly let go from his job, what started out as something very painful ended up being the best thing that ever happened to our family. Instead of pursuing another 9-5 job, a visiting teaching position at a university that required us to move a few hours away fell in his lap and he took it. That opportunity and the choices we made (and the sacrifices we made moving away from extended family and our church) resulted in a family life I could not have imagined when we started our married life. He had a 32 year career as a professor, I worked part time in education in a job I loved as our kids went through middle school and high school, so we both had summers off.. We were not frantic, harried parents rushing off to jobs every morning and coming home tired and out of energy after picking our kids up at daycare. We had time to help with homework, I could volunteer in classrooms, on school committees, field trips, etc and like you, we absolutely loved our summers with our kids and always dreaded it when the school year began. We made tough decisions and sacrifices financially over the years and I’m not retiring from a 40 year career as many of my friends are, but I would not have had it any other way.
In the 37 years since I became a parent, there are many things I wish we had done differently, especially things I wish we had been more intentional about, or even known to be intentional about. But one thing I will never regret is making a decision to be intentional about, as you say, “arranging our lives” around the important job of being parents. That did not mean having every waking hour be centered around our children. It meant evaluating our strengths and weaknesses as individuals and as a couple and determining what our life needed to look like for the flourishing of our kids, our family and for my husband and I as individuals. I knew before I was even married that I was not wired to have a full-time job and be a mother at the same time. I knew I would do neither job well or even moderately well. I just can’t keep all those balls in the air and remain sane. Neither one of thrive in a fast-paced life. In addition, neither one of us wanted other people raising our kids during the week so we knew I was going to not have a paying job for the foreseeable future, and we would reevaluate things as we went. My husband was in a management role for a large Christian nonprofit for the first three years of our first daughter’s life, which afforded us the financial option of me not having to work to pay the bills. Money was tight but we were ok. The job was close to home but became more and more stressful as he took on more responsibility. With only a two week vacation and long hours, he had little time at home. So when he was abruptly and unjustly let go from his job, what started out as something very painful ended up being the best thing that ever happened to our family. Instead of pursuing another 9-5 job, a visiting teaching position at a university that required us to move a few hours away fell in his lap and he took it. That opportunity and the choices we made (and the sacrifices we made moving away from extended family and our church) resulted in a family life I could not have imagined when we started our married life. He had a 32 year career as a professor, I worked part time in education in a job I loved as our kids went through middle school and high school, so we both had summers off.. We were not frantic, harried parents rushing off to jobs every morning and coming home tired and out of energy after picking our kids up at daycare. We had time to help with homework, I could volunteer in classrooms, on school committees, field trips, etc and like you, we absolutely loved our summers with our kids and always dreaded it when the school year began. We made tough decisions and sacrifices financially over the years and I’m not retiring from a 40 year career as many of my friends are, but I would not have had it any other way.