Be A Man #1: Is The "Crisis of Masculinity" Simply White Boy Tears?

Is there a “crisis of masculinity,” or, as I’d rather frame it, a “crisis in masculinity”? The difference isn’t just semantic. A “crisis of masculinity” suggests that masculinity (which is whatever the person talking thinks it is) under attack or unraveling, as if some external force is eroding the very possibility of healthy masculinity. A “crisis in masculinity,” on the other hand, frames the problem as an internal struggle—one that arises because the world has changed, and men must now figure out how to adapt, grow, and take responsibility for their own development.

This distinction matters, especially in a time when headlines and pundits are quick to declare the “death of men” or the “end of boys.” But is that really what’s happening?

The Data: Are Men Really in Trouble?

Scott Galloway, NYU professor and author, has become a prominent voice in this conversation. He points to sobering statistics: men are four times more likely to die by suicide, three times more likely to be addicted, and twelve times more likely to be incarcerated than women. Young men are falling behind in education, relationships, and the workforce. One in three men under 30 hasn’t had sex in the last year, and many report feeling lonely, isolated, and adrift.

Galloway’s conclusion is blunt: “The most dangerous person in the world is a man that is broken and alone.” He argues that society has failed to notice or care about this decline, in part because men have historically held power, and empathy for their struggles is in short supply. And Galloway is not wrong. Whenever I mention the “crises” to the woman in my life, I’m met with eyeballs, exasperation, and a lack of concern. I think I understand. However, the statistics are real, and the pain is palpable.

This isn’t just an American problem. Globally, women are outpacing men in higher education and political representation. The traditional male “breadwinner” role is increasingly out of reach for many. Economic and technological shifts—automation, globalization, the rise of the gig economy—have destabilized the pathways that once defined manhood for generations.

What’s Really Going On? Culture, Change, and the Myth of Crisis

But is this truly a “crisis of masculinity,” or is it a crisis in masculinity—a moment when men must reckon with a world that no longer guarantees them status just for showing up?

Masculinity has always been a moving target, a social construction shaped by culture, economics, and power. The “crisis” narrative tends to resurface whenever men’s collective privileges are challenged—by feminism, by racial justice, by economic upheaval, by changes in family life and intimacy. It’s not that masculinity is collapsing; it’s that the old scripts no longer work, and men must adapt.

Some even suggest that the very idea of a “crisis of masculinity” is a kind of cultural distraction—a way to re-center men (particularly white men¹) as victims whenever the social order shifts, rather than inviting them to take responsibility for their own growth and adaptation.² They suggest the “crisis of masculinity” wants to reset the equation and return to a world where mediocre white men can still succeed.

The Internet, Loneliness, and the Echo Chamber

Part of this is the isolating effects of technology. Social media and the “internet brain” phenomenon have made it harder than ever for men to form real, meaningful connections. The online “manosphere”—with its mix of self-help, grievance, and sometimes outright misogyny—offers easy answers and scapegoats, but rarely delivers genuine growth or healing. To put it plainly: Few guys tumbling down the 4Chan, 8Chan, or QAnon rabbit holes are killing it at work, with their family, the ladies, or finance. These guys are not getting swipes on the dating apps and they need an excuse as to why besides the reality that they are simply unexceptional in the modern world.

Instead of learning to adapt, some men retreat into resentment, blaming women or society for their struggles. Others simply check out, giving up on relationships, work, or community altogether. The Internet world provides reasonable proximities of an active life — video games, Twitter, porn, OnlyFans (which is distinct from porn in that creators and/ or their proxies engage men in conversation), and the like, pretend to be an active life.

What Does Jesus Teach Us About Masculinity?

If we turn to the Gospels, however, we find a radically different model of manhood. Jesus lived in a culture where women were seen as second-class citizens, little more than property, yet our Lord consistently treated women with dignity, compassion, and respect. He spoke with them in public, welcomed them as disciples, and entrusted them with the first proclamation of the resurrection.

Jesus demonstrated mutuality with those of lower cultural and societal status, erasing our nonsense notions about who is entitled to what and the reasons humans think they are entitled. Just like white men resisted ending slavery or Jim Crow largely because of their fears of job loss, some now see the actual equality they’ve heralded eroding their easy and predictable paths to cultural dominance and economic gain. Jesus reminds us that cultural assumptions of worth don’t mean true worth.

He did not define masculinity by dominance, aggression, or stoic self-sufficiency. He modeled vulnerability, humility, and service. He called men to love their neighbors, to lay down their lives for others, to seek justice and mercy.

In short, Jesus showed that true strength is found not in power over others, but in self-giving love and solidarity with the marginalized.

So, Whose Responsibility Is It?

Here’s where the “crisis in masculinity” framework matters. If the problem is simply that the world has changed, then it’s up to men to change with it. That doesn’t mean ignoring real pain, nor does it mean shaming men for struggling. It means recognizing that the old scripts are gone, and new ones must be written.

Scott Galloway and others call for a renewed emphasis on mentorship, community, and purpose. Men need role models, but more than that, they need relationships—spaces where they can be honest, vulnerable, and supported as they grow. This isn’t about reclaiming lost status; it’s about becoming better humans.

From Crisis to Calling

So, is there a crisis of masculinity? Maybe. But it’s more accurate—and more hopeful—to say there is a crisis in masculinity. The world has changed, and the old ways of being a man have eroded in many pockets of the West. The task now is not to retreat into nostalgia or resentment, but to step forward with courage, humility, and a willingness to grow.

Jesus offers a model: see others as equals, serve with compassion, and embrace vulnerability as a path to true strength. The crisis, then, is not the end of masculinity, but an invitation to reimagine what it means to be a man in a changing world. And that, ultimately, is a challenge—and a calling—worth embracing.

1. NOTE: I have lots of white friend (I’ve always wanted to say that).

2. Historically, when women and people of color have cited their struggles in policy, culture, etc…they have been told the such problems are theirs to solve or given the reason their collective behavior has created or perpetuates the problem. If those analyses were correct, men now have the same responsibility.