Why You Need a Black Mama
INTRODUCING THE SCHOOL OF ANTI-FRAGILITY
Two years ago I was rolling my eyes about something a co-worker was complaining about, which I, at the time, thought was not a real compliant. An inconvenience, sure, but not a complaint.
As I droned on in my office, my office-mate, Brian, said, “That’s because you had a black mama.” I was curious and thought it was strange coming from my Italian friend. Brian told me, “I think everyone needs a black mama.”
He’s right.
Why? Because, by and large, black mamas don’t take crap, tell it like it is, and have a love tougher than leather. It can sting like a belt or comfort like a couch. My mama (and that’s what I still call her, “mama’) was that way. After my daughter was born, I asked her parenting style. She told me, “I had two black sons and there was no room for y’all to screw up.”
The School of Anti-Fragility
My mother raised my brother and me to be what we would now call “anti-fragile.” Because this rearing was rooted in her faith and the scriptures, much of what she choose was borne of the Bible. Much of the way she communicated that faith, and it’s real-world implications, was born of stone cold reality and hard-won wisdom.
Over the next weeks, I want to share with paid subscribers My Mama’s School of Anti-Fragility. My mother didn’t know she was creating a school. She was, if you ask her, trying to keep us out of jail and out of the morgue. But her parenting was intentional and thorough. It was designed to produce people who are both strong and kind; confident, but not cocky; purposeful, but not pretentious.
My Mama’s School of Anti-Fragility isn’t about raising children. It’s about personal discipline, self-leadership, loving others, and faithfulness to God. It’s about being both differentiated and de-centered.
People, particularly Christians, need to be less offended, more gracious, and quite frankly, in a pluralistic world, less fragile.
The Syllabus
So, here’s the syllabus for My Mama’s School of Anti-Fragility:
“This Too Shall Pass.” (On Faith & Your Smallness)
“Why Not You?” (Everybody Is Special)
“What Did You Think Would Happen?” (On Living Intentionally)
“Um, Well….You Know” (On Making Clear, Declarative Statements)
“God Has Always Taken Care of Us.” (On Money & Worry)
“Don’t You EVER Speak To Me That Way!” (On How We Treat People)